Well it was February, now it’s October….. Ooops!

Well, that was a long time out. Had so many great things to blog about but they never went up, but my stats show nobody is looking so guess it doesn’t matter.

DH has a new job, account managing for a worldwide company looking after a very well known chain of supermarkets in the South West and South Wales. He’s away about 1 night a week but that’s bearable. Salary has whipped us out of the financial dark ages and we are slowly and surely clearing our debt. It’s not all rosy yet, but everything is certainly pinker.

DD is simply lush! She’s now 20mths old, cheeky, sweet and getting very independent. The tantrums have started, and although she’s not winning it doesn’t make for a peaceful life. But I love it. She wraps her arms around my thighs, squeezes them and looks up at me to blow kisses. Like I said, lush.

DDog1 and 2 are still our favourite pains in the a*ses. They moulted so much this summer I don’t know why they aren’t completely bald. We now take it in turns to take them out for a proper walk in the evenings while the other babysits. I’ve started using the double ended Halti training lead with a dog on each end, one has a half choke (nothing like a choke chain, I don’t live in the dark ages) and the other on a chunky collar. The only problem is seeing a cat, if one pulls at something else I can usually get the attention of the other and we both pull. Soooooo much nicer to walk.

My Mum has had major progress on her condition. She has a long-term previously unidentified health problem, I will go into it on a separate post so won’t say more here. Anyway, God willing, we might finally be onto something.

I locked the shed keys in the shed! Poor Hubby had to borrow a tool I can’t name (round sharp disk that puts out sparks) to grind through the padlock. We only had a click shut padlock on there so I could shut it one handed with baby and washing basket on hip. The other padlock has to be held shut while turning the key so I took it off. Have now ordered two wordlock padlocks, bit like the cryptexes in The Da Vinci code but without the one shot only part! The other will go on the garden gate. Our reinforced shed door now has a chunk taken out of it and a burn mark where the tool slipped. Oops.

DH’s 32nd Birthday was last weekend. We booked and stayed in a spa hotel an hour away for the sat night into the sun, with DD. it was really lovely. DD floated with armbands and no other support for the first time. She was a little charmer the whole weekend and had a wonderful time.

I did my back in and am currently gathering evidence to show my Doctor this could be the start of the problems that gets to all the Mother’s in my family and to help me identify and manage it now rather than 2 kids down the line. We are NHS, so wish me lots and lots of luck.

Well, that’s an update, I’m so glad I didn’t sign up to posting daily weekly or even monthly.

Take care everyone, will try have a more tangible web presence….

Not that there’s anyone listening. Tee hee Sx


Must be a Sunday

’cause I feel like I’ve done nothing, when I haven’t stopped. It’s work tomorrow, so where did the weekend go?
My Mum always used to get really crabby on a Sunday afternoon, I get it now, sorry Mum!
What should we call it? Sunday Afternoon Syndrom, SAS, Save Our Souls – Mums having a paddy?
Any other ideas? Contact me or leave a comment please, no closing date because it’s a problem that never ends. I really need a laugh. Aaaaaaaarrrgh! Do I feel better? Nope!

Twice in one day, I’m still ill then…

Actually I’m knackered, but I’ve got a lot to show for it.

I’ve done the budget up to the very minute and penny, planned 8 days worth of meals according to the sell by dates on the food I asked DH to get due to the fact I planned what we needed.

I’m not saying we have enough money this month, nor that there will be no wastage of food; but I’m prepared to minimise the damage!

LOL. Right, to bed….

Where’s my tea?

I am sat here with an empty mug. I remember making the tea. I don’t remember drinking it.

Today might be interesting. I’d better stick the kettle on, how many am I making?

On another note, DD has been trying to put Dog 1’s collar on to Dog 2 for about 10 minutes now. She does it the same way she puts her socks and shoes on – rests them on the top! He’s being very patient, as is dog 1, who has put himself in what he considers the best place for her to put it on him. Because of course, a collar is an essential part of a w – a – l – k.

Fake sleep grin, conjunctivitis, and mobile blogging at last…

Well, in reverse order, lets explain that one. I’m typing this on my mobile, hence mobile blogging. I can send new posts by email during the day instead of taking up time on the laptop at night when I could be, erm, would be… Decluttering. This is the first ever, lets hope daily blogging isn’t as far off as it once was.

Conjunctivitis. Poor DD now has this to go with her cold, we’ve got the drops, but I can’t take her into work with it so we’ve had to lay off a couple of children each day to stay within number limits. Luckily one little girl won’t be in cause she has… Conjunctivitis! Luckily she has a sister who comes too so it won’t give their parents extra trouble at work to keep them both home. At least I haven’t messed up anyone elses life this time.

You’d think being off work means I’d be able to get stuff done but I’m sat at the laptop, blogging on my phone. Something not quite right there me thinks. DD has been taking ages getting off to sleep, which leads me to the third thing in the title – fake sleep grin. DD has started playing around in the cot at work rather than sleeping, we can see this on the cctv. But the second she hears the hook on the door rattle as I open it to go in she throws herself bodily down in the cot, shuts her eyes tight and goes “ah-shuuu, ah-shuuu” which is her snoring impression. I suppose if we didn’t have cctv, and the cot didn’t THUMP as she threw herself down, and her snore was a little more realistic (or I was deaf); it might be a convincing act for someone barely 1 to try. If not for the MASSIVE grin plastered across her face from ear to ear! Real give away that, not to mention the following giggle that sounds very much like one a wide-awake cheeky little pickle might give. Busted!

I’ve caught a bug….

Actually, I caught several bugs lately. DH caught some nasty flu/cold/stomach bug thing and it floored him for three days. He was off work for two of them. DD caught it the same day, had temperatures of 40+ for 2 nights running, and kept throwing up when she coughed. Bless.

And me? I bet you can guess. I noticed a scratchy throat the day after they started, then developed a full-on cough, cold, asthma revival with flu symptoms too. Yes, I kept working; yes, I kept getting up twice hourly to poor DD; yes, I kept the sympathy up for DH. The result, I still have a cold 9 days on and they’re well past it. But no whinging, that’s a flylady rule!

Flylady? Oh boy, you’ll like this one. I found a website by accident when I googled for help getting motivated to do housework. Hee hee. Don’t you smirk like that! You might not have actually googled it, but unless you were born organised, you’ve seriously wondered how on earth people ever get through all the housework and cleaning and have nice homes. Well now I know! http://www.flylady.net/index.asp When you come across a site that mentions a 15 minute room rescue; clearing a path through the piles of clutter that have taken over the room – you know you’re on to something REAL! As in, honest. Yes, I was thinking about that ridiculous pile in our bedroom.

Well, guess what – it’s almost gone! What took three years to accumulate, 6 months to stagnate, and the sum total of that for me to get around to clearing it – but only 3 sets of 15 minutes work for three evenings in a row to be about 3 quarters GONE! I won’t bore you with the details, but get over to that site and have a lookie around, especially at the getting started section. Some people online have complained about the number of daily emails they got when subscribed to flylady; but you can change the settings to get them as a digest and no one ever said you have to read them. I also reckon the people saying those things don’t really have a desire to change the way they do things to clear their homes. In truth, it was the 4th day of this clearout that DH and DD came down with their bugs. I can’t help but think that all the dust raised from throughout and under that pile might have had something to do with it. Imagine how much less there will be now I can properly vacuum 80% of that room. It can only be good. I’m so glad I’ve caught a manageable dose of the de-clutter bug!

Actually, there was a more tangible benefit from it just the day before yesterday. Long and short together, DD fell off my bed and landed on her head; but she escaped injury as a direct result of the decluttering I’ve been doing. Most of the main space of the room is clear now, but the 2ft or so of space between the wall and my side of the bed still has some clothes, bedding and shoes etc. Clutter, in other words. DD was sat on my bed, just over a foot from the edge. I’d already warned her to be careful, and as she’s only just turned one was still keeping a careful eye on her while I got dressed. She was busily being funny, the way they do at that age, and lifting her arms like she was trying to take off the flufffy white bodywarmer she was wearing before bringing them down again. The third time, she laughed at herself and flung her arms up so enthusiastically she tipped straight over and went flying down, head first, off the side of the bed. I lunged over the whole bed in one move, and lifted her vertically up before lying her on the bed very gingerly. She very quickly started kicking and thrashing her arms and legs whilst screaming at the top of her lungs – I figured she was fine and lifted her for the cuddle and comfort I was desperate to give. And why wasn’t she hurt? Well, she landed on the dog! The dog who was only lying there because the rest of the room was clear of clothes and had been cleaned meaning that the strip of clothes down my side of the bed was the only place with that comforting smell of his owners bodies! Dog 1 is the skittish one, but whereas normally he would have bolted out from underneath anything falling on him whilst yelping at the top of HIS lungs – he somehow stayed put as DD fell and lay there growling softly as I lifted her up and checked her over. He is the reason she’s ok; as her head landed on him, her hips were still supported by the bed and she skittered down his side to the floor (clothes and bedding!), her hips finally tipping over and slowly flipping to rest against the wall. She ducked her head and therefore prevented injury to her neck.

If I had been clearing up the way I usually do, whipping everything into a pile together (!) then sort it by type, then find places for it all, touching everything 3 or 4 times; I’d have cleared that side of the bed, then lost motivation and left it. So no progress, and no dog at side of bed for DD to land on. Due to doing 15 minutes at a time with my phone timer, it’s made a real difference and my poor daughter had my mess on her side, so to speak!

BTW, dog 1 wasn’t hurt at all, I did check him over straight away too. He came up onto the bed as soon as he saw me cuddling DD, so we cuddled him too. Good dog!

Popping balloons and giving things up.

Well, so much for good intentions. After setting this blog up I then fell headlong into the busiest time of year and got lost in it. First Christmas, then New Year, then DD’s very first ever Birthday on the 14th Jan! We’re now back in the scary depths of financial juggling and trying to make a 3 bed household fit into a two bed flat. Note to self: I will be better prepared next year, as we will always have the first birthday of the year straight after Christmas and I’m gonna make sure it’s always a good one.

Now onto the serious stuff. I’ve had so many good ideas for posts but it all comes back to the same things. My husband was squeezed out of his job a year and a half ago (the guy who was promoted to create a job for DH, threatened to leave again and the boss/owner/his best friend did everything he could to keep him – ie. give the guy back his old position for his new salary, leaving no space nor money for DH.) we got a solicitor and did him for unfair dismissal and he settled for the salary lost after tax. But I can tell you for nowt, that doesn’t cover the cost of no income for nearly a year, bounced direct debits and unpaid bills, and the social exertions of a depressed husband desperately job seeking for his pregnant wife. (And yes, the boss knew I was well pregnant when he started all this). Long and short, we’re still trying to play catch-up on the catch-up from that time, even though he has a job again – for less money and more stress, he’s a bus driver ;-S

And as for me, I’m a Christian, and used to have a super strong faith and a great relationship with God. But I guess I hadn’t lived back then. Now I really struggle. And it’s all classic stuff. If the ‘bad’ people and the faithless are getting good stuff, and nothing I do seems to improve our lot; then what is the point of having a relationship with Him? I am somewhat cynical and pessimistic at the moment. We went to church today, the one I grew up in, and they did this really helpful thing with balloons. We all had a balloon, and blew it up (or got someone else to – phew!), and that represented all the ‘stuff’ in our lives. Then we had to pop it anyway we could, to represent giving it all over to God in such away we couldn’t possibly claw it back and own it again the way we tend to. I needed that, I knew I did. I even selected a lovely purple balloon that made me think of the Royalty of Christ, my Mum beside me did too. I really wanted to blow it up myself, it seemed significant. But you know when you get cheap balloons and it’s one of the long thin ones? They are really hard to blow up, I had to get my Dad to do it (DH had taken DD out as we knew she would be hysterical at all the popping, she was at her birthday party, bless). I shrugged it off and sat down to think and pray a bit about what I wanted to give up in popping the balloon, but I suddenly noticed that the pressure of the balloon in my hands was decreasing rapidly. It had a tiny hole somewhere and was deflating! I tried to think more quickly but the rapidly decreasing balloon left me no time. I decided to bite a hole in it myself as there was so little air pressure left in it I knew it would pop if I stood on it. I know it’s daft, but with all the troubles we have right now, I really wanted to give that stuff up! I wasn’t even allowed to do it symbolically. Told you I was cynical right now, I find it so hard to talk to God now that something like this seemed really important.

Anyway, I decided that for some reason DH and I have to deal with each of our problems one at a time. Which is hard, because I have enough trouble concentrating on one task at a time without stressing about the other ones I’m not doing – I tend to flit between them and make little measurable progress. I was looking online at some other blogs I like and I came across this post: http://www.incourage.me/2011/01/the-back-room.html

Don’t get me wrong, sexual abuse is a huge and terrifying thing for the people who have been there, but I blessedly haven’t (although the concept scares me far more now I have a child of my own) and so this post inspired me for other reasons. It was the concept of God gently peeling back layers, not more than we can bear, so that it hurts as little as possible while He heals the wounds. I have a lot of wounds, but meeting and being loved by my hubby has healed so much of me and is still making me just that little bt braver every day. I saw this concept more in the context of our maturing together through the troubles we’re having. They’re nothing no one else ever goes through, but we’re here now and it’s really hard to imagine we’ll ever be out of here – figuritively and literally. But perhaps having a miracle to solve all our problems at once would cause us to miss out on so many maturing experiences? Although I still can’t imagine what God is preparing us for, my life is now supposed to be that of the wonderful Mum/homemaker/full-time employee and I can’t even get that right. I’m quite sure I can be nothing greater than that any time in the future.

But there you have it, the New Year has begun. I know what I love, my husband, my daughter, ‘the boys’. I just wish I could give them all that life I’m striving for. One day at a time hey, like walking 2 dogs and a pushchair.


Amendment: I’ve just read the preview of this post, funny how a different mood can quickly change your take on things. What if the balloon deflating so quickly due to actions outside of my own control was representive of God taking those things off me without my having to work out how to give them up? I like that idea, might well keep me cheerful for a couple of days. Mmm…

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